Sleeping Issues, film studies, and fruit

So, I had a sort of wake-up call (please excuse the semi-pun) about my crappy sleeping pattern.  If you know me, you'll know that I have serious insomnia and usually only sleep about three nights a week.  I pretty much cat-nap, if I get tired, and it usually sustains me. Anyway, the other day, I pulled an all-nighter, which I had to repeat the following night due to ridiculous amounts of homework.  Yeah.  Two all-nighters in a row.  Can you say UNHEALTHY?

Anyway, I thought I was fine, actually.  I didn't feel tired at all, but then in my journalism class, I started hallucinating a bit.  Nothing big - I just thought I was seeing bugs and stuff.  So, I decided to skip the rest of my classes in favour of a much-needed nap.  My psychology teacher reminded me that what I experienced is called "REM Rebound," which basically means you start dreaming while you're awake, and that's NOT good.  I'm just glad I didn't get any aural hallucinations...that sounds like it would be wayyy creepier.

But!  Last night, I got a full seven hours of sleep, and I didn't even have to use the Benadryl I had bought just in case I couldn't drift off.  I know it's technically an allergy medicine, but I think it works better as a sleep aid than anything, really.  I remember once when my mum gave it to me a couple years ago when I was having actual allergies, I was drifting right on the edge of sleep for a few hours before finally falling asleep.  And being right on the edge of sleep is really trippy.  Instead of thinking you're awake and being asleep, you think you're asleep but you're awake...and you wonder where the line of reality vs. dream is.

But, tonight's another restless night.  I'm sitting in bed being a Twilight fanatic as usual, soaking up whatever Twilight news I can find.  Am I not the most ridiculous person ever?  I mean...Twilight kind of sucks, and I recognize that.  It's not very well-written, but it's CRACK.  Absolute crack.  But oh well.  That's not as embarrassing as the fact that my iPod is half-full of Britney Spears.

Jeez.

Blast, I've run out of soy milk.  I love that stuff.  Well, I'm actually sort of a soy milk POSER, because I've never had the plain kind - only the vanilla and chocolate kinds.  And they're amazing.  Go drink them.  Now.  You won't want to stop.  I swear, if Jesus came back right now, I'd be like, "Hold on Jesus, you've got to try this stuff before you end the world, okay?"  And he'd be all, "DUDE, this stuff is the dog's bollocks.  Maybe I should start turning water into THIS."  And I'd be like, "Please do, man."

For the record, I'm not British.  I just use a crap ton of British slang and use the British spellings of some words.  At first, I think I was doing it to be cool, but I've done it for so long that it rather stuck with me, and now it's hard to stop.  My teachers don't seem to mind, though; they don't change the word when I make it British.

Warmer weather is approaching, and I could NOT be happier.  It's supposed to storm tomorrow...er...later today.  Storms always made me happy at home, but also freaked me out a bit.  I had a run-in with a tornado once, and it made me a bit paranoid.  But I LOVE storms here.  I live in a limestone FORTRESS, which makes me feel a lot safer.

Collins needs a troupe of knights.  Or ninjas.  No, knights.  I mean, it's a CASTLE, you know?  Castles need knights.  "The Knights of Collins" has a wonderful ring to it.

I actually went to my political science class today.  I'd been skipping it a lot, because as much as I used to LOVE politics, I now can't stand them (though I'll talk about them whenever I have the chance).  Besides, this particular course is SO similar to the one I took last semester...I feel like going is a waste of time that could otherwise be used...wasting time, yes, but in a way I enjoy, at least.

Besides...I'm thinking about switching my minor/second-concentration/possible second major to film, instead.  I came to IU completely gung-ho on politics, but I think it was really just the hype of the election, and my activism on the campaign that really got to me.  But I really think I'd hate my life and job a lot less if I were a journalist who worked for an Arts Desk.  Or...I could be a film critic, or writer for Entertainment Weekly.  NEW DREAM JOB.  Right there.  Yes.

I mean, for a long time, I always had this bit of myself that wanted to direct movies, and this year was a particularly good year for film.  Lots of great picks at the Oscars, and all.  But to put these perfectly-polished scenes in my head on the SCREEN...it would require too much money, a crew, and the confidence of a renowned film studio to make it happen...and I'm thinking that going for that goal is sort of a gamble.  So I'll stick to critique, I guess.  

I'm still going to take a few directing classes at IU.  Only problem with that is that I'll have to take an acting class as a prerequisite, which is bound to be humiliating.  I've never tried acting.  No school plays, no little skits...nothing.  Besides, I'll bet that this acting class will teach it the theatre way...not the film way.   Theatre acting is so exaggerated and unrealistic.  It's the kind of acting for people who can't act in a realistic way, I've always thought.  Not that it doesn't take talent as well...it's just that if I MUST take an acting class, I'd much rather take one that focuses on the way they do it for films, not plays.

A friend from Purdue is visiting IU this weekend, but mostly to see other people.  Still, he's letting me borrow ten movies which I will watch and then swap critique with him.  He's a film major, a thinker, and an all-around good guy, so I really feel comfortable discussing my stupid dream to be a director with him - without feeling childish or silly.  It's nice.

Still, I was hoping to go home this weekend, which doesn't look like it's going to happen.  I haven't been home in SIX weeks, and it's looking like I won't be home for another two, until Spring Break.  I miss Joey a LOT.  But we're doing fine.  The long-distance thing has been working for us really well, and I'm glad.  We're going to be ridiculously happy when he's in college with me.  But anyway, my mum and dad have to work too late on Friday to come get me then, and mum works on Saturday.  But dad's got a cold, so he doesn't really want to mess with driving two and a half hours to Bloomington to get me, then two and a half back...  I don't blame him, I guess.

But I need to buy some fruit.  HERE'S the lesson of the day:  When you go to college, make sure that EVERY TIME YOU COME HOME, or EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE STORE, you buy fruit.  Seriously, you won't realize how much you miss fresh fruit until it's gone, and the dining halls only have apples, bananas, and oranges.  No lies, man.

Anyway, back to my Twi-Nonsense and homework.  Bye!

15 Observations + Lesson of the Day

The third floor landing in the main stairwell of Edmondson smells like pomegranates today.

I keep watching Twilight, and it never fails to make me laugh during those scenes of particularly bad acting.  I can't lie, though.  I love that poorly written crack.

On the topic of Twilight, I think they did the casting really well.  EXCEPT for Rosalie.  Nikki Reed, in my opinion, is not as beautiful as the actress who plays Rosalie should be.  She's got the personality down, though.  Still, seeing her in "Thirteen" ruined it for me.

Taylor Lautner as Jacob is really growing on me.  Even the wig doesn't bug me any more.  He's a realistic Jacob.

I'm so glad they made Eric Yorkie into the token Asian kid.  He says the most hilarious things in the background, such as:

~"Woah, woah, chillax."

~"And I don't just surf the INTERNET."

~"It's a masterpiece, you know?  We'll have this, like, crazy pyramid fall from the sky, and you two can give each other a high five..."

~"You're real cute, man...Let a playa play."

~"Bella!  It's a worm!  It's a worm."

Ball State's campus is depressing and institutional.  I am SO glad I go to Indiana University.

Every time I drink a Strawberry-Banana V8, I notice the tomato juice more and more, and I like it.

I desperately need to tidy up my room.

I bought two boxes of staples at the beginning of the year, and I haven't even gone through one stick of staples yet.

My eyebrow has been twitching for, like, a week.  It's getting bothersome.

Obama says that Caterpillar is going to rehire everyone they laid off.  How I wish he were right.

My dorm room is set up almost exactly like my room at home.

The windows on the courtyard-facing side of Cravens are arranged with no real pattern, and I like it.

V is a really cool letter.

This is my way of half-assing my blog for awhile.  I'll probably get "into" it again later, but I'm just not right now.

LESSON OF THE DAY: If you use Noxzema facial cleansers daily, and you HAVE done this for a long time, you can't go a day WITHOUT using it, or you might have a breakout.  My face has gotten SO used to it.

Strawberry-Banana V-Fusion is the Best V8

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Technically, it's Thursday, but since I haven't slept yet, it's Wednesday to me.  Actually, it'd technically be TUESDAY to me, since I didn't sleep last night either.  Whatever.  Moral of the story: this post is for Wednesday.

Not much has happened.  Not much that I can really talk about.

But here's what I learned today: Being nice to people is really hard sometimes, and sometimes other people will want you to be rude to others.  Just be nice.  Don't believe everything you hear about someone.

First Nightmare in Years. Dang.

I actually got to sleep at a decent hour last night.  Well, decent for me.  It was about half-past midnight when I finally dozed off.  Unfortunately, I then had the first bad dream I've had in, like, several years.  {I added that "like" in there so my sentence wouldn't sound too dramatic, and it only ended up sounding girly.  Crap.}

Anyway, the dream started out where I was just kind of watching this girl who was sitting up in bed.  I could tell she was either having some sort of breakdown or going through physical pain, and there was a sort of supernatural feel to it.  It was like watching a really twitchy film, where it's sped up and some frames are dropped.  There were weird patterns of light swimming across her face and stuff.  After that, I felt this impossible-to-resist urge to scream REALLY loudly, because for some reason, I was terrified.  And then I woke up.  I hadn't screamed in real life.

But it was then TWO in the morning.  So much for getting to sleep at a decent hour...  Anyway, maybe it's a good thing I woke up, because I had forgotten to set my alarm clocks.  And then I ended up waking up thirty minutes before my alarms went off anyway...so that was disorienting...yep.

The weather has been incredible lately.  Winter used to be my favourite season, but not any more.  The first REAL snow is always great, but once it gets all dirty and slushy, it's no longer worth it.  Besides, I miss GREEN!  I love big, leafy trees.  I really just want to lay down in a big meadow somewhere in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, and be surrounded by nature.  That sounds stupid, maybe.  But I really want it.

The air smells AMAZING.  I always connect feelings with scents, and today's scent is amazing.  It rained last night, so everything seems clean and springtime-esque.  I feel like something amazing is about to happen.

I need a nap.  But instead I'm writing this and listening to music.  Here's what I'm listening to, currently!

Cold Shoulder - Adele

Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

Sway - Dean Martin

Fallen from the Sky - Once soundtrack

1234 - Feist

Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Big Jumps - Emiliana Torrini

Mother of Pearl - Roxy Music

Let Go - Frou Frou

Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie

Attack - 30 Seconds to Mars

Okay.  Now that you know a little more than you wanted to, ONTO THE LESSON OF THE DAY!

The lesson of the day is actually more like me realizing a goal of mine, and I think this should be part of EVERYONE'S goal.  I want to be able to use the phrase "I'll have my people call your people," and actually be important enough to mean it.  So!  For my field, that means I'll have to be an editor of sorts.

Okay, have a rant.  This rant will be about drunk people.  So if you're a habitual drunk, just don't read the rest of this, mkay?

I don't drink.  I have a few friends who think it's fun and "helps" their social lives, and I secretly judge the crap out of them.  I mean, few of us even feel very in-control of our lives as it is, while we're in college, so why would I ever intoxicate myself and make that feeling even worse?  That's just ridiculous.  Besides, being sober is awesome, personally.  If you're sober, you can really appreciate everything that happens around you.

One of my other straight edge friends once said, "When people have been drinking, I don't feel like they're being very real with me."  I think that's probably the best way to explain what I'm talking about.  We've all been on the receiving end of a drunk text or drunk chat...and it's sad, with a little element of entertainment and just a dash of "Wow, I'm glad I'm not you."

The reason I mention this is because I heard some really loud people out on the street last night, and it reminded me of the dorm I used to live in.  McNutt.  McNutt is the reason IU is (unfortunately) considered the #1 party school.  It always made me really angry.

That's the one thing that sucks about college.  Even in Collins, which I love, there are people like that.  You can't escape those kinds of people.

Ah well.  Go out and enjoy the weather!  It's going to be cold again this weekend.

Monday, Monday....Can't Trust That Day

Oh, the Mamas and the Papas.  Good band.  Four out of five dentists recommend it, in fact.

My room is an absolute mess.  I tend to become more bummed out as my room gets unorganized.  Or maybe my room becomes unorganized when I'm bummed out.  I don't exactly understand the relationship, but there is one.

Whatever the case is, today I am bummed because of my housing situation.  I live in a BEAUTIFUL castle-like dormitory where everyone is artsy and musical, not to mention they're all complete geeks like me.  Collins Living Learning Center.  I posted a picture of my building (Edmondson), the main building, in my last post.  My room is HUGE even though it's a single, and I have an alcove window!  I'm really happy about that.  My desk is inside the alcove, and I always feel really Harry Potter (yep, just made it an adjective) when I sit in it.  Plus, it's close to everything.

BUT...it looks like I'll have to live in Wright next year.  Wright is fine, I guess.  It's a convenient location as far as food goes.  But it's just not Collins.  I am going to miss it here SO much...  I'll miss hearing the bells tell me what time it is.  

I keep checking the housing site every hour or so to see if any singles opened up in the main quad here...no luck for WEEKS, and the window of opportunity is closing quickly!

But onto less dreary things.  You know what rocks?  A toasted every-seed bagel with chive-cream-cheese and alfalfa sprouts on top.  Made into a sandwich.  It is AMAZING.

I suddenly remembered this dream I had ages ago.  Not last night, but a long time ago.  I was running around in some field at night, and there were street lamps here and there, so the grass was lit up.  And suddenly, I was laying on the ground looking upwards.  And then after THAT, I was looking at myself from a third person perspective and saw my body on the ground covered in red butterflies.  The end.  It's kind of a pretty dream, but it doesn't mean anything, which bugs me.

There are people on the road playing really loud rap music.  Durn kids.

Here's what I learned today: If you've stayed up WAY too late for some reason, and you have to go to school/work within four hours, it's not worth it to try to go to sleep.  Pull an all-nighter.  Seriously, you won't be dead all day.  You'll be even MORE exhausted if you try to sleep for a couple hours, or worse, you might sleep in.

That's what I did last night.  I didn't sleep.

Greetings!

I decided to post a personal blog in addition to the political one I have with a friend.  This way I'll have a place where I can rant about all the other crap that goes on in my head, and the only "research" I'll have to do is looking back over what happened that day.

Because...to be perfectly honest, politics are annoying.  So.  Annoying.  I recently had an "epiphany" about myself where I realized that I'm way too wrapped up in the political world, and that it's turning me into a huge tightass, which is not good.  I used to be way more into art, music, and writing than politics, and I miss that.

However!  In an attempt I made to fix this, I discovered that I cannot go a day without discussing politics with whoever will listen.  So I guess I've rather trapped myself into it.

So this blog will hopefully not include too much about all of that stuff.  I want the theme of it to be "what I've learned each day."  Because I truly believe that you add knowledge to your database every single day, you grow because of it, and you apply it.  Even when it feels like you're learning precisely nothing.  

Even if it's something really stupid, like learning that "you should always wash your bowl IMMEDIATELY after eating Cream of Wheat, or else it will be impossible to wash later," or "packing tape doesn't efficiently hold up a strand of Christmas lights on your dorm room wall, and if you try to make it work, they'll fall on you in the middle of the night and give you a night terror."

So to start off the blog, I want to say that I had a really awesome night yesterday, but that somehow, I was disappointed.  I went to a comedy show with friends, and then we came back to campus and hung out at the really awesome coffee shop on the first floor of my building.  And then I watched a movie with another friend.  And all of that was great!

Here's what I learned from this: Often, after having a really fun night out, we tend to look back on it and wonder if it really WAS as much fun as we thought, if our friends were having fun or just pretending to, if it could have been better - and this is a stupid thing to do.  I had a great night.  That's all.  I shouldn't look back on it and feel disappointed, because it was perfectly lovely.  I should allow myself to think, "Yes, that was fun!" and trust that my own feelings are proof enough.

Anyway, there's a pretty sunset tonight.  The weather has finally started to warm up again - I didn't even need a coat today.  Just a sweater.  I'm going to love living here in the warm season, when the trees are green again.  I love nature.  The picture at the top is my castle (otherwise known as Collins Living Learning Center, a really awesome dormitory in Indiana University).  But it's a castle, to me.  It's Hogwarts!

Speaking of Hogwarts...I think I'm going to go read some Harry Potter.  I told myself I wouldn't read that series again for five or ten more years, so it'd be new to me again when I read it, but I can't stand it anymore!  Toodles.